my sleep deprived boy…he looks like a cute little cat. i have a fatherly urge to take care of him even though he’d bite me.
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therapy is for the things you can’t tell anyone else, which is why I just spent my hour long session talking about my opinions on bandom discorse instead of trying to get my adhd diagnosis.
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Heres a quick color study of Tucker Rule from LSDunes/Thursday fame. That orange drumkit is everything!
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I’m forever SEETHING with jealousy towards ANY patd fans who have been fans since the 2000s. FUCK YOU THAT COULD’VE BEEN ME.
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found me?
this is my blog for bandom dead dove do not eat.
ill write for mainly p!atd, (emphasis on panic!!), tyv, fob, tai, cobra starship, and ptv… plsplsplspls send me asks!! could be fic/hc ideas or just to talk, i lovelovelove talking..
ill write almost anything.. if i dont like ur ask ill just delete it.. #sorry
ok thnxs 👀
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𐙚˚࿔ introduction 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
about me:
name: cami
gender/pronouns: girl, she/her
sexuality: bisexual
i’m a minor, over 18s can interact but if you are weird to me i will block
im from and live in england so my time zone is gmt
my music:
(sorta in order of most to least listen to) panic! at the disco, fall out boy, cobra starship, the academy is…, the young veins, iDKHOW, the brobecks, blink-182, +44, green day, the used, from first to last, jack off jill, patrick stump, my chemical romance, pierce the veil, avril lavigne, paramore, britney spears, twenty one pilots, cute is what we aim for, ryan ross, jon walker, silverstein, alesana, linkin park, msi(i don’t support jimmy urines actions), chiodos, an evening at elmwood, manic drive, gerard way, all time low, taking back sunday, the hush sound, saosin, escape the fate, the red jumpsuit apparatus, lovehatehero, i set my friends on fire, alexisonfire, isles & glaciers, christina aguilera, hayley williams
other interests:
this is mainly a bandom acc so these don’t really matter but i’ll add them anyways
fav youtubers: dan and phil (+ their solo/other accs they post on), crank that frank, brendon urie livestreams (does this count??), old smosh, flamingo (+ albertsstuff), ange mariano, alana fay, jayden naomi, stephanie lange
fav movies: moulin rouge!, star wars episode III, black swan, live in denver & live in chicago by panic! at the disco (yes they count as films technically), trainspotting, atonement, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
i rarely watch movies btw so ik this isn’t much. i really like ewan mcgregor.
fav shows: skins, waterloo road(only s1-6), desperate housewives, star wars the clone wars, greys anatomy(on s4 so no spoilers. also i’m a izzie and george defender idcidcc), pretty little liars (on s1 so no spoilers pls), gossip girl (also on s1 so no spoilers pls)
fanfics: i really like throam, currently about to finish vol2 as a 1st time reader, i also like in case the scene gets nasty and filthy lucre (if anyone’s ever heard of that)
if anyone has any recs of brencer/peterick fanfics that are long, well-written pls tell me
idk what else to add but i’ll add my other interests later if i remember
my socials:
letterboxd where i occasionally watch movies and write shitty reviews
pinterest for my cool boards
spacehey for my swag profile and where my friends are
ao3 to see the fanfics i’ve read/am reading
before u add me:
i love patd if it isn’t obvious already
i love vices and virtues!! it’s my fav album by them, i made my username off a line from hurricane which is my fav song on the album!
i’m a huge brendon urie fan and i’ll probably post about him the most
i love all the patd members except kenny and brent (for valid reasons i don’t like both of them)
i love brencer, it’s my fav bandom ship and i prefer it more than ryden
i prefer post split panic over pre split so i’ll probably post more abt that too
important: i don’t have a dni, so if i don’t like u i will block freely!
ty for reading :) i will update this when needed
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being a mapleshipper is such an experience. i am literally just shipping some dudes fffor no reason
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Intro Post
Name : Ryden ou Mikaela
Gender & Sexuality : Apagender Pansexual
Age : 4teen
Pronouns : She/Any , any terms!
I Like: P!ATD, MCR, FØB, Paramore, music in general, books, fanfiction, & etc!
DNI: Proshipper, Waycest, Baycest, & Basic DNI
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P!ATD Roleplay Request
Hi!! If anyone is wanting to roleplay p!atd, let me know! I’ve been hyperfixating a lot as of late and I’m specifically looking for Ryden (Brendon Urie x Ryan Ross).
It can be discussed though! Please be legal (at least 18), as I myself am 19. I’m PST tmz, can do semi-literate to advanced, and am flexible with plots and such!
It can be pre-split era, an alternate universe, etc. etc.
Just keep in mind that I’ll be playing Ryan. If you’re interested, message me!!
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I don’t care where, just far
chapter 9: Abyssus abyssum invocat.
I was sitting on my bed, holding my Nokia in one hand and piece of paper in the other and hated every passing minute. It has been a few days since Frank left the note in my flat, yet I couldn’t bring myself to calling him.
As if I had a choice. I didn’t, really. They gave us such a short notice that I had barely time to go through newspaper and circle some of the horible flat ads that I saw there. Overpriced, very small, sharing the same bed with another guy that worked night shifts. Didn’t discourage me and I kept on searched for something, anything during lunch times. Anything, as long as I won’t have to call him.
The thing is, I wanted to see him again. Sure. But I hated being someone in need. I always took care of myself…but as I said, I had no choice.
Sleeping Beauty,
call me once you wake up.
I think I might help you with your housing situation.
XO Frank
“Fuck, I hate this,” I sighed. Then I finally pressed Frank’s number on the phone and squeezed green key.
[[MORE]]“Hi, this is Frank Iero,” I heard nervous and familiar voice.
I swalowed hard. “Hi, it’s Gerard? From the subway…”
“That must’ve been a long sleep.”
“Well…My mum used to say ‘Do things properly or not at all’, y’know.” What the fuck is this nonsense, I asked myself.
“I bet she did. So, we are looking for a new roommate. We live in this huge flat with ridiculous rent and one of the guys decided to fuck off to Italy all of sudden and leave us behind like a bunch of dildoes, so…we need someone. Would you be interested?”
“Fuck yeah,” I said, trying not to sound completely desperate.
“Cool. Maybe we could meet tommorrow? To check the apartment and, you know…”
“Sure, I’ll be there. Around six?”
“Yeah, I can make that work.”
“Great, thank you, Frank.”
“No worries. See you tommorrow, then.”
“Sure, see you.”
…
I rang doorbell and hid my sweating hands inside my coat. I was standing in front of brick house with several floors. Most of people who live there are probably students, I assumed. College was only few block away from here. Frank appeared moment later in Minor threat shirt and ripped jeans. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked pale and sick, his hair disheveled. He smilled and that made me smile in return.
“Hiya, come in.”
“Hi, Frank.”
We climbed flight of stairs and after Frank unlocked the door, we stepped inside spacious room that served as common room, I assumed. There was big couch and several non-matching arm-chairs, big stereo with speakers and piles of CDs on a floor. 2 guitars, bass and keyboard stand in the corner of the room and lot of effects with shitload of cables laid on old carpet that slightly reeked of cigarette smoke and spilled beer. Some CD was playing, it was ambient and gloomy. On diy pallet table was scattered few books and magazines, I noticed few weed plants hidden between basil in flowerpot on a windowsill. Kitchen was clean, small but sufficient, separated by counter that served as some kind of bar. Flat consisted of 4 separate bedrooms. Frank led me to the bedroom that would be mine. Clean, white-painted, small and cozy room with wooden floor and big window that lead outside and onto fire escape stairs.
“This is amazing,” I said. “When can I move in here?”
“Well, rent is a smidge higher, but other than that…” Frank looked around. “Oh, almost forgot to show you bathroom.”
After that, Frank gave me form where I put my information, whether I had some pet (I said no), whether I smoke (I lied and said no) and told me he’ll contact landlord.
“I’ll drop a good word on your behalf and hopefully he’ll be cool with you moving in. He’s quite reasonable, and I know you’re decent human being, Gerard. It should be ok,” said Frank, sitting on a bar chair next to the counter. I noticed every chair had diferent size and upholstering, as if Frank and his friends were stealing random chairs from local bars. Then again, with Frank, it wouldn’t be that surprising.
“Frank, you have no idea how much this means to me,” I said from the couch where I finished filling in the papers.
“Come on. It’s mutual aid, basically.” Frank slid down from the chair and opened fridge. “Beer?” he asked. I hesitated a little. Sure, I could use a beer, as always. Beer meant liquid relaxation, another way to calm myself down, numb myself. I don’t usually drink with other people around, though. Not anymore.
“Sure, why not,” I said and caught a beer can Frank tossed at me. As I turned around can in my fingers, feeling droplets and cold tin on my skin, Frank sat back and opened his beer can.
“I haven’t been outside a lot lately. Still kinda paranoid that something might happen, you know?” he said slowly and hesitantly after a while. I opened the beer and took a big sip. Imediatelly I felt more at ease.
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I was really anxious the first few days on my commute to work. But I think we would be busted by now if someone reported us back then.”
“I’m more concerned with the attackers, to be honest. It’s not that I’m scared, just knowing they could suddenly appear…Ok, maybe I’m a little bit scared. I know the town is big and the odds of meeting them again are low, but…Dunno. Sorry, I just wanted to…You were there, so I knew you’d understand.” He rubbed his eyes and looked down on the beer can he was holding with tired expression.
“How long has it been since you left the flat?” I asked.
“I’m not sure…Few days. I called to work, said I have explosive diarrhea. That’s bulletproof excuse, never failed me. Ever since that…incident, I feel really bad. Like, something ruptured. I don’t know how to explain it.”
I knew exactly what he meant. “Every violent encounter is…destabilizing I think. Especially if you grew up in it. At least I have it like that. I see something brutal and it always brings along all the shit from my past, it comes in flooding like tsunami. It buries me, all the feelings from the past. But…It’s just that. Just memories I have inside my bones, that I can’t un-live. Whatever happened, happened. I was different person back then. I wasn’t sure how I’ll survive until eventually, I emerged on the other side. Eventually, I have to pick up the pieces and kind of just…emerge, you know?”
Only CD kept on playing in the silence. I took another sip of the beer. Suddenly I realized Frank has been locked in his flat in this acute state for days and my heart sunk. If only I called him sooner…shit, I’m such an asshole.
“Frank, can I do something for you? There are crisis centres and such…”
“No, I’m ok, really. I just need a few days to process it all…Fuck, you shouldn’t see me like this. Sorry.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Because I don’t like it,” Frank said willfully and gulped a big swig of beer. Then he wiped his mouth and asked: “How are you holding up, anyway?”
I wasn’t thinking about it, I realized. My mind was preoccupied with my housing problem, work and cop-related stress. I was sure I’m gonna crash out in near future once the pressure is of and I’ll have a space for it. It happened to me a few times before.
“I’m good. Fine. Don’t worry about me, ok?”
My can was almost empty.
“Let’s take a walk, Frank.”
I could see annoyed expression on his face immediatelly. “Gerard, I’ll be alright, you don’t have to nurse me.”
“Jeez, it’s not about you, Frank, I just want to see local comic shops and gig venues. I’m lost here without you, y’know?” He rolled his eyes and threw crumpled beer can in the bin.
“Fine, I’ll go with you. Dickhead.” I smiled.
…
Frank put on black hoodie and moments later we stumbled outside. His skin looked almost translucent in the autumn sun light. It was beautiful evening, sun started to dip below the horizont and skies were crimson red and orange. I lit up cigarette and gave one to Frank. I felt taste of beer in my mouth still. We slowly headed towards university campus.
“So you’re comic freak, huh?” said Frank after a while, once he seemed calmer but still annoyed.
“I guess so. I draw and illustrate and comics are my creative outlet. I love it.”
“I see. Do you work as a comic illustrator, then?”
“Unfortunatelly no. I’d love to, but no. I have an office job. Corporate stuff. E-mails. Client calls. Multitasking.”
“Do you like it?” he asked. I stopped in my tracks. “Jesus, Frank. Look at me, do I strike you as a person that could like an office job?” I spread my arms wide as to make Frank really evaluate me. He pressed his finger to his lips in thinking gesture and checked me out, my old blue sneakers, jeans, long black coat and striped scarf that didn’t match with any other item.
“You strike me as someone who derives fashion sense from the Fourth Doctor,” he noded his head as he kept staring at my outfit.
“Exactly. Also, fuck you.”
We kept on walking in silence. He finished his cigarette, put it out on trash can and tossed it inside. “Well, you should try to apply for a job as illustrator. Move on, if there’s no future for you in your office job.”
“Well, it pays my rent, so there’s that. Also, you haven’t seen anything I draw, maybe I’m hopeless and you wouldn’t like my stuff.”
“Surely not. I can see you’re an artsy type. I can feel it from you, the same vibe I have.”
“Oh? What’s your field?” I asked curiously.
“Uh, mainly…thrashing myself on the floor while torturing Pansy. My guitar, I mean.” I remembered all the instruments back in the flat. Of course.
“Abyssus abyssum invocat,” I mumbled and smiled to myself.
“Huh?”
“Nothing, it’s just this phrase. One abyss calls another. It’s…Nevermind. So are you good? Can I come to a gig?”
“Sure, once we force some event manager to put us on. In the meantime, you can come to a rehearsal if you want to. Sometimes we rehearse in the living room with the instruments turned way down, so it’s no fun, really.”
“I assume you don’t aspire to become office rat with no future, then?”
“Nah. And neither do you. Your body just didn’t realize it yet,” he said with flirty wink and left me a few steps behind him, hands in pockets of his hoodie, breathing in fresh evening air. He came up to a bench and sat down. Street lamps above our heads lit up.
“Really nice day for a walk,” he said dreamily, grinning into thickenning darkness around us.
I tossed my cigarette stub in a bin and sat next to him. As I looked on his face, I noticed his bruises were turning green as blood clot was dissolving under his skin. His lip still looked battered. I had irresistible urge to reach out to touch his face, trace my fingers around the wounds, inspect them. Make them disappear, somehow. His lip tissue looked so raw, it would definitelly hurt if someone tried to kiss him. The person’d had to be really gentle, only brush their lips against his, as if they’d take a moth in their palm, trying not to wipe away the pixie dust of the wings…
I lowered my gaze and felt myself blushing. Aside from work colleagues, I don’t spend time with people. Hang out. It usually left me exhausted. But with him, it was different. Almost effortless.
“So where the hell is the comic shop?” I asked with grin.
“Fuck if I know,” he said carelessly with his eyes closed, still breathing in deep the autumn air. “We’ll find it another time.”
“Alright. I rely on you, though,” I said, delighted that he feels better momentarily.
…
We headed back to his home after a while. As he walked up stairs to the front door, he turned around with little smile. “Thank you, Gerard.”
“Anytime,” I replied from sidewalk, watching him unlock the door.
“We’ll be in touch, alright?”
“Right. See you.”
He waved at me and I saw his small figure disappear inside the house. I decided to walk. As I watched falling leaves collapsing on the pavement, I felt lightheaded and weirdly…peaceful. After a while, I realized I’m smiling. Shit. That’s odd.
I thought what would it mean if I could really move in. It would be great, right? I thought about the room that could be my new home. I imagined drinking coffee and smoking on a balcony outside, seeing Frank every day…What would that be like? I wanted to see him again, I realized. I wanted to see him daily. I wanted to talk to him. On the other hand, living in the same house, in the same flat felt overwhelming. I wasn’t ready to give up my loner lifestyle, was I? Fuck it. I’m fed up with being alone all the time. I can live with other people. I can do it…right? I silently growled in frustration. Why do I have to soil anything good that happens to me with all this doubt and bullshit?
You know why, something deeper inside me replied.
Oh, yeah. That. I almost forgot.
…
A few days later I got call from Frank. I was sitting on a bench outside during my lunch pause. I picked up the phone with my sweaty hands.
“Hi, Frank?”
“Pack your bags, baby. He gave you green-light.”
“Fuck. Really?”
“Yup.” He sounded so cheerful it made my heart skip a beat.
“Awesome. Ok. Ok, uhm…When can I move my stuff over? “
“From next Monday anytime is ok. Do you need help with your things?”
“No, I’ll be fine. I don’t have a lots of stuff.”
There was a small pause, I didn’t know what to say. It was all happening so quickly. Maybe too quickly. Definitelly too quickly. My head was spinning.
“I’ll come on Monday, then,” I said eventually.
“Ok, Gerard. See you on Monday, fellow inmate.”
“Yup, see ya.”
I hung up and put the phone away. I didn’t realize it until that moment: my hands were shaky as fuck. I was scared. I was scared like I haven’t been in a long time.
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Ignore my crusty ass counter but my locket arrived!! I got it online from hottopic
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!!intro post!!
hi! i’m moth, or mo, aka @slimymoth, and this is my bandom-centric blog. i’ve been in the bandom for years now (since middle school), but i decided it was finally time to, like, start interacting with the fandom space. and i wanted a dedicated blog to do that so y'all can find/interact with me easier
i’m 24, use he/it pronouns, and i’m a lesbian who’s in love with patrick stump. i’m also a writer!! and i do art sometimes, but i wouldn’t call myself an artist. i haven’t posted any bandom fics (yet) but i have some in the works >:]
also: i may occasionally post kpop content, but it’s not the main focus of this blog
if you wanna know more, like what bands i’m into or whatever, check out my strawpage (i worked hard on it lmao) and if you wanna like follow me that would be cool too
cw: flashing lights below
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