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I guess you can call this my official submission for Macro March. XD
I’ve always loved classic fairy-tales, as many of you are aware, and one of my favorites is the story of “Jack and the Beanstalk.” The origins of this timeless tale are somewhat obscure, but the story is recognizable: a young fellow named Jack, on his way to market to sell his cow, is convinced to buy a handful of magic beans from a mysterious stranger. At first, Jack’s mother is deeply frustrated, thinking her son has been conned…but it turns out the beans really ARE magic, and grow into a mammoth beanstalk. Jack climbs the stalk and winds up in a fantastic world high above the clouds, where he meets a very rich but very nasty Giant (sometimes called an Ogre; in this case the two phrases are interchangeable). The Giant is a miserly brute who loves nothing more than devouring human beings. Determined to change his family’s fortune, Jack finds ways to steal some of the giant’s treasures, all the while trying to avoid getting eaten.
Jack’s story is a classic tale of an underdog: while his actions in traditional retellings are sometimes called into question by analysts (I’ll get to that later), he’s nevertheless a figure we can relate to. This is because Jack is placed in an EXTREMELY lowly spot in the original tale: he’s not only low on the social status totem pole, being a humble farmboy, and not only on the economic totem pole, since he and his mother are poor and desperate, but he’s also low just in sheer size. By making the enemy a literal giant - most versions depicting said giant as bigger than a building - we’re naturally drawn to sympathize with Jack as he explores and finds ways to survive in a universe that’s equal parts large and exceedingly dangerous: make no mistake, ethical debate aside, the Giant would almost certainly kill Jack if he found him.
Like many such stories, “Jack and the Beanstalk” has been frequently reimagined, reinvented, and adapted in various forms of other media. So, I’ve decided to give this story a bit of attention and cover my personal favorite takes on the tale out there, including films, TV programs, and at least one stage show. (On that note, for those of you who might know and care about this: there is a very popular English pantomime based on the story. It will not be included here simply because I’ve never seen any productions of that pantomime all the way through, and - being a panto - it tends to change a fair bit from performance to performance and company to company.) This ranking won’t be based on how “hot” the giant is (because you all know me), nor on how complex the story is, nor on how popular it is…it’s simply a collection of versions I think of when I think of the story, or have watched the most often (or both). Nostalgia and personal taste are ruling this before anything else. XD With that said…Fee Fi Fo Fum, this list has finally begun!
10. Into the Woods.
This is one of my top six favorite stage-born musicals (from seven downwards it becomes hard to determine my favorites, but my top six have been pretty consistent for years), so it stands to reason it would rank somewhere here. “Into the Woods,” for those who don’t know, is a combination of four famous fairy-tales: Rapunzel, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood…and, of course, Jack and the Beanstalk. The first act is effectively the stories being told as we know them, with the “connective tissue” binding them together being a subplot involving a Baker and His Wife. In the second act, we discover that “Happily Ever After” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, as the actions and inactions of the characters chosen in the first half of the show end up having unforeseen consequences later on. In the stage version, Jack is usually depicted as a teenager or young man, though in some other incarnations - like the film adaptation (pictured here) - he’s made into a child. Regardless, his story plays out basically the same: in the first act, his story pans out more or less as expected, but with all his choices being made in the hopes of saving his cow, Milky White, and helping his Mother. In the second act, Jack’s story turns out to be hugely instrumental, as the major source of conflict in the latter parts of the show stems from the Giant’s Wife coming down a new beanstalk to take revenge on the one who she blames for the death of her husband. As much as I love this show - and Jack’s solo song, “Giants in the Sky,” is one of my favorites in the play - I rank it low here because we only get to see Jack’s side of the story from ground level. In the stage version, it would have been really difficult to accomplish all the stuff that happens in the land of the giants…and in the movie version, there probably just wasn’t an opportunity to do so, given the way the script was managed and the limited time allowed. However, a big part of the appeal to this story, in my opinion, IS seeing the great contrast between the two worlds, and all the hijinks one can get up to in a world of giants. Bottom line, I feel that while it’s a great inclusion to the collection of tales featured here…taken on its own, it’s got to be placed lower.
9. Faerie Tale Theatre.
This 80s TV series - hosted and produced by the late Shelley Duvall - featured various adaptations of classic fairy-tales, short stories, and works of fantasy. They all featured major celebrities of the stage and the screen, and were deliberately performed and handled in a theatrical style, hence the title. In their adaptation of “Jack and the Beanstalk,” the series decided to take a leaf out of the Benjamin Tabart take on the tale: Tabart’s treatment of the story, originating in the 1800s, tried to give a more moral reason for Jack to steal from the giant and cause all the trouble he does. To that end, it’s revealed that the Giant devoured Jack’s father and stole all his wealth and fortune; Jack robbing from and eventually slaying the Giant becomes an act of retribution, and allows him to reclaim his long-forgotten inheritance. (Because I guess the giant being a man-eating monster who was clearly greedy wasn’t enough. :P ) This episode follows that concept, but treats the story with a big ol’ dollop of humor. Much of the comedy comes from Elliot Gould as a particularly doofy Giant (who seems less evil, despite his transgressions, and more ridiculously slow-witted), and Mark Blankfield as a cross-dressing fairy…godmother? Godfather? Whichever, it’s hilariously weird. XD The story also gives Jack more of an arc, as he starts off as a daydreaming fool, and has to prove himself worthy of pursuing and reclaiming his birthright. It’s not my favorite episode from this series, but it is one I remember dearly, and still one of the first takes on the story I think of to this day.
8. Jack the Giant Slayer.
This 2013 movie generally wasn’t well-liked when it came out. Reviews and reactions were middling at best, and I’ll be honest, I can understand why. I don’t think it’s a BAD movie, outright, but it isn’t the most innovative feature, either, in a lot of ways: it’s essentially a “standard” sort of fantasy film, with characters who are generally black-and-white (good is good, bad is bad, etc.), and an aesthetic we’ve seen before. With that said…I don’t know why, but I actually find myself liking this movie more and more as time goes on. It’s not perfect, it’s not complex, but I just really enjoy its sense of style and how it somehow manages to bring a new twist to the tale while also keeping a sort of fairy-tale simplicity. The movie proclaims that it is the “true” story of Jack and the Beanstalk (with a bit of influence from the less popular “Jack the Giant Killer” tale), presenting the classic story as being a more action-packed and intense tale of revenge, treachery, and high adventure. Over time, the story was sanitized and changed to become the story we all know today. In this version, Jack and a band of heroes work together to rescue the princess of the kingdom, Isabelle, after she is whisked up into the land of the giants. The monstrous beasts - who once preyed upon mankind before being banished to their realm in the sky - have formed an army to take revenge on the kingdom. Once they discover a path back down to Earth, it’s a mad fight for survival as Jack tries to find a way to tame the giants and save the world. Again, it’s not a movie a lot of people seem to love, and I can understand why…but I still feel justified placing it in my own personal top ten.
7. Tom & Jerry’s Giant Adventure.
Out of all the Tom and Jerry movies that have been released in recent years, this one is probably either my favorite, or at least among my favorites. Mostly because, unlike some others - such as “Tom and Jerry Meet the Wizard of Oz” - it’s a totally original take on a classic tale. There have been many cartoon versions of “Jack and the Beanstalk” (this isn’t even the first time Tom & Jerry have handled the story, I believe), but this one has the advantage of a feature-length runtime to develop the tale. The film takes place in the present day, with Jack and his mother being depicted as the owners of a theme park, of all things. The park is in dire straits since the death of its master builder, Jack’s father. Tom and Jerry are depicted as Jack’s pets, though they still bicker and batter each other to bits, as you would expect. The only attraction they have left is their performing cow, Hermione, and when it becomes clear even her act is through, they decide the only way to try and save the park is to sell her. This leads to Jack, Tom, and Jerry running into the typical mysterious old man (in this case named Farmer O’Dell) with the requisite handful of magic beans, and being whisked up into the sky. They find themselves in Fairyland, where all of the characters from fairy-tales and nursery rhymes live…among them Droopy as Old King Cole, because why not? (Weirder to me is that Red Riding Hood is…um…a Fairy Godmother. As opposed to being…you know…Red Riding Hood, but…whatever.) The kingdom is routinely threatened by a greedy and gluttonous giant called Ginormous, but a prophecy claims that a young man - Jack, obviously - will be able to find a way to defeat the giant and free Fairyland from his evil presence. It’s a standard story, but it’s helped by really great cartoon slapstick (something that’s hit or miss in a lot of more modern Tom & Jerry outings), a lot of fun cameos from various Tex Avery characters, and some genuinely catchy songs. Ginormous’ villain song is especially great. It’s nothing super spectacular, on the whole, but if you’re in the mood for some silly fun, it’s a decent way to get it.
6. Once Upon a Time: “Tiny.”
In this second season episode of “Once Upon a Time,” we learn that the story of Jack and the Beanstalk wasn’t quite as simple as expected. Earlier in the season, we were introduced to Anton, a.k.a. Tiny (played by Jorge Garcia), whom this episode is named after. Tiny is a giant (as you can probably guess, due to the irony of that) who appears to be the last of his kind, and has a real grudge against the human race. We find out the reason is because of Jack: in this version, a female character, who had a tryst with a not-so-charming prince, named James. The nasty prince is the twin brother of Snow White’s prince, David. The two manipulated the naive Tiny into thinking they were his friends - Jack being particularly seductive and wily - and organized a coup to invade the land of the giants. Though Jack was defeated, James escaped, and Tiny was the only one of the giants who survived, at least as far as we can tell. All this is interspliced with a story in the present day, where Anton travels to the town of Storybrooke seeking revenge, intending to kill David when he mistakes him for James. I really loved this episode and its twist on the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, and Tiny was a very fun character in the series. He sadly only had one more appearance in the show, and I wish we could have seen more of him. In this episode, however, he was undeniably the star of the show, and it’s still one of my favorites from the series.
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5. The 1967 Hanna-Barbera Version.
This musical television special was co-created by Gene Kelly, who starred, directed, and helped to produce the film. He doesn’t play Jack (he’s performed by Bobby Riha, with a singing voice dubbed by Dick Beals), but instead the mysterious man: here a peddler by the name of Jeremy Keen. Unlike many other versions where the characters is fairly minor, in this one he ends up becoming Jack’s sidekick on the adventure…because when Gene Kelly is starring, directing, and producing, you can be darn sure he’s not going to playing a bit part. :P At the start of the story, Jeremy sells Jack the beans, as is typical…but he seems just as intrigued as Jack is when the beanstalk ends up growing in the farmboy’s backyard. The two climb the stalk together to explore whatever is beyond, and eventually meet Princess Serena: a beauty who has been cursed by the Giant and turned into a talking harp. The Giant, for the record, is given the almighty baritone of Ted Cassidy: the original Lurch from “The Addams Family,” the first person to voice Galactus, and two-time player of Bigfoot and Frankenstein’s Monster alike. In other words, perfect casting. Jack and Jeremy work together to try and save the princess, defeat the giant, and escape back to their own world. This rendition combines both live-action and animation, with Jack and Jeremy as human characters interacting for much of the show with animated characters in a cartoon world. The special is far from perfect: its budget definitely shows (this is no Mary Poppins), there’s at least one scene/song that is COMPLETELY pointless and has NOTHING to do with literally ANYTHING going on (the infamous “Woggle-Bird” sequence), and the dialogue can be pretty corny. However, despite its flaws, it has gained a bit of a cult following, and I could be considered part of that group: this was one of the first takes on the tale I ever saw as a kid, and it was one that always stuck with me a lot. Even to this day, its among the first adaptations I think whenever I ponder the story. For all its flaws, it’s certainly a novelty, and I’m happy to place it in my own top five.
4. Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story.
This 2001 miniseries was a co-production between the Jim Henson Company and Hallmark. It was directed by Brian Henson. Initially, this was planned out as a more or less straightforward adaptation of the classic fairy-tale…but Henson was dissatisfied with this approach. He wanted to create a version that examined the morality of the fairy-tale, and the ethical flaws one can find in it (as I brought up earlier in the countdown). As a result, the plot takes an interesting turn: it starts off centuries after the original story took place, as a man named Jack Robinson finds out that he is the descendant of the original Jack. It’s revealed that after the events of the story, a curse was evidently placed upon the Robinson family: no male within the family line has ever lived past forty. A series of strange encounters leads to Robinson ending up in the land of the giants, as he starts to piece together the truth of what really happened: at first it seems that the story played out more or less the way we remember it, with Jack as a daring underdog trying to escape the clutches of a boorish ogre, and save his home from poverty and destruction. Over the course of the story, however, as Robinson’s adventures continue, he finds out that the story people know was the reverse of the truth: Jack was, in fact, a conniving crook who betrayed the benevolent, simple-hearted giant, named Thunderdell. By stealing his treasures, Jack placed the entire land of giants into a state of bleak jeopardy. The only way to save the kingdom of the giants is to either return the lost treasures…or for the entire Robinson family to be destroyed. Our protagonist must thus find a way to get back what his ancestor stole, or pay the price for the old Jack’s mistakes. I love the way this miniseries pans out, almost like a murder mystery, with the original story changing more and more till it becomes the total opposite of the tale we know, and I love how Robinson has a character arc of his own, as he has to learn to value more things in life and not jump to unreasonable conclusions. I also like how many of the giants in the film are depicted as figures from various mythologies, which raises some interesting questions on its own terms. While at times the pacing is a little off, and the effects range from magical to mediocre, it’s overall a really interesting sequel and reimagining. If the roughly-three-hour-long runtime doesn’t scare you, it’s worth checking out.
3. Happily Ever After: Fairy-Tales for Every Child.
Produced for HBO Family (back when it was still a thing), “Happily Ever After” was kind of to the 90s what Faerie Tale Theatre was to the 80s. Both were shows that adapted classic fairy-tales and works of short fantasy, and starred big names in various roles. There were, however, two key differences: first, Shelley Duvall’s show was live-action, while HBO’s series told the stories as animated musicals. Second, the show’s surname, “Fairy-Tales for Every Child,” came from the fact that each episode gave the stories being told a sort of multicultural bend: reinterpreting the famous stories for different regions and areas. There was a Chinese take on Red Riding Hood (starring B.D. Wong as the Wolf); a Cuban version of Hansel & Gretel (starring Rosie Perez as the Witch); a Hawaiian revision of Puss in Boots (starring David Hyde Pierce as Puss); an Inuit rendition of the Snow Queen (starring Eartha Kitt as the Snow Queen); the list goes on. The very first episode of the show - and one of my personal favorites - was an adaptation of Jack and the Beanstalk, set in Africa. Wayne Collins Jr. voiced Jack, Harry Belafonte was the Magician who sold him the magic beans…and best of all, Tone Loc played the Giant. (If you don’t know who Tone Loc is, one word: Ferngully.) It’s generally a pretty straightforward retelling, aside from the African flair, but it’s another version I saw when very young that stuck with me and still sticks with me today. I love its sense of humor and the depictions of the characters, and the songs aren’t too shabby! It’s also a fairly short interpretation, in direct contrast to the previous pick, clocking in at less than a half hour in length. If you can spare the time, definitely give it a look.
2. Mickey and the Beanstalk.
I bet a lot of you expected this to be number one, didn’t you? Well, it isn’t, but second place ain’t half bad. Originally featured as the latter half of the 1947 package feature “Fun and Fancy Free” - a personal favorite Disney film of mine, as it’s one of the first I owned on VHS as a kid - this short subject has been re-released multiple times with different narrators and framing devices over the years. (My favorite will always be the initial film treatment, with ventriloquist Edgar Bergen and his characters telling the story.) The cartoon was initially intended to be a full-length movie, but like a lot of other Disney projects of the time, it was ultimately stripped back and made into a short subject. It’s pretty much what it says on the tin: it’s the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, but with Mickey Mouse (assisted by Donald Duck and Goofy) in the role of Jack. This wasn’t the first time Disney handled the Jack and the Beanstalk story, nor the first time Mickey faced a giant, but it is by far the most well-known on both fronts. In this version, the trio come from a lovely land called Happy Valley, which is kept prosperous by the enchanted music of the Golden Harp. After the oafish Willie the Giant steals the harp - plunging Happy Valley into a state of drought - the three eventually find their way to his castle in the sky via the requisite magic beanstalk. Mickey, Donald, and Goofy must find a way to take back the harp and save their home. This most likely WAS the very first take on the Jack and the Beanstalk story I ever saw onscreen, and it’s still one of my favorites, as well as a big part of why I love “Fun and Fancy Free” so much. Willie is quite possibly the most loveable version of the Giant ever made; he’s still the villain in this initial appearance, but there’s a good reason later portrayals tend to make him less antagonistic and more benign. I love all the gags at the giant’s dinner table, the songs are short and sweet, and it’s great to see the classic trio working together in this story with their typical chemistry on full display. I’m pretty sure if it hadn’t been for this movie, a lot of later cartoons and concepts might not have existed; this was the point where the full potential of the three and their dynamics could be seen as heroes in a classic story. It’s also worth noting this was the last time Walt Disney himself would voice Mickey in theatrical animation; it’s a milestone for the character for that reason, if nothing else. My only real issue with the short is that it’s pretty obvious in hindsight there was meant to be more, but again, the time the film was made in meant the studio had to cut corners and trim out a lot of story points. Still, it hits all the high notes and is a very fun reimagining. Pretty much every “cartoon character travels up the beanstalk” story after this seemed to, either intentionally or by happenstance, take a lot from this one version, and there’s probably good reason for it. So…what on Earth could top this?
1. The Rabbit Ears Version.
For those who don’t already know, Rabbit Ears was a company that - throughout the 80s and 90s - published a series of books that adapted various fairy-tales and pieces of folklore (and the occasional short story). They got popular and prestigious artists of the time to illustrate the stories, and created a series of tape cassette audiobooks with music by similarly talented folks, and celebrity performers as the narrators. They also released TV specials and direct-to-video productions of their publications, which essentially worked like motion comics: with additional images not featured in the book and minimalist animation techniques used to create moving illustrations. I watched a lot of these growing up, but - for a long time, at least - there was only one I could actively watch over and over again without having to go to a video rental stop. (Yeah, anybody remember those?) That was their VHS release of “Jack and the Beanstalk,” narrated by Monty Python’s Michael Palin. My late grandparents had it as part of their little collection of movies and videos they allowed us kiddy-winks to watch anytime we went over to their house. I absolutely loved it, and to this day I STILL love it. It’s one of my favorite Rabbit Ears productions, topped only by their version of “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.” While Mickey and the Beanstalk is a more cinematic and novel interpretation, the Rabbit Ears version just has this strange, almost dreamlike atmosphere to it. This was something I loved about a lot of their productions, actually: since they didn’t have huge budgets for animation, they made up for it through the power of the vocal performances, the artistry of the illustrations, and the poignancy of the music. Most importantly, it’s the single most “authentic” retelling of the whole bunch here: it doesn’t try to soften up the hard edges of the story, the way the Faerie Tale Theatre version does, nor does it use odd gimmicks like cartoon guest stars a-la Tom & Jerry, or a different cultural flair a-la HBO. It’s just “Jack and the Beanstalk,” plain and simple…and I kind of love it for that reason. To me, this is the definitive telling of the story, and the gold standard to which I hold every other adaptation. It’s not the very best on a technical level, it’s not the most unique or nuanced…but that’s kind of what I love about it. There’s just a sense of charm and simplicity and unusual tone that makes it feel truly timeless. (Also, I’m 90% sure this particular version MUST have had a HUGE impact on my more bizarre interests, so to speak. If you know, you know. If you don’t, watch it, and you might get it. :P ) I doubt anybody else would place this among their favorites, but for me, it’s a no-brainer: this is my favorite adaptation of Jack and the Beanstalk. No beans about.
He wasn’t the best at what he did. He was the only one that did what he did.
