increíble como un hombre fiel, respetuoso y seguro de lo que quiere puede cambiar en una mujer insegura y lastimada

the shock of it: the search for my friend’s cousin’s head. his mother, in some awful trance. his two young children. how are my grandmothers doing? will i ever see them again? my own dwindling nerves, the depletion of something very deep in me. i have held iran at a distance in my heart for some time - i felt if i didn’t, i could not bear it (the distance, and everything else). now the distance (and with it my heart) has closed, closed. call it depersonalization. call it derealization. call it a war. call it rubble, in which men are searching for another man’s head. call it a phone call: khanom, inna lillah. call it a widow. call it a border. call it some kind of rage, some kind of fire. call it grief. call it a falling to my knees. call it a bruise. what of the babies? what of the children? i used to see great pale shining blue angels in my sleep and in my waking. i used to see them with two wings or three wings or four. god, god. please, please.

28, mismanaged finance, nonexistent lovelife.

Yet somehow still hopeful.

Women’s Day 2 “Numberblock 28”

She is a pattern pioneer, she’s obsessed with patterns, she’s 11 blocks tall and 3 blocks wide with 5 holes because pattern pioneer (My opinion), her husband is Numberblock 29 (Please don’t attack me in the comments), she hangs out with her best friend numberblock 27 often, she hangs out with her friends a lot, she loves Phoenix from Oden Phoenix Starlight so much

28

Lucky Number 28

@…or.is.it 💙💚Lucky number 28 🤭 #larrystylinson #louistomlinson #harrystyles #onedirection ♬ Die With A Smile - Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars

Video by …or.is.it?💚💙

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28

Why 28?

@…or.is.it 💚28💙 #larrystylinson #28 #louistomlinson #harrystyles #onedirection #tattoo ♬ Lucky Again - Louis Tomlinson

Video by …os.is.it?💚💙

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feel like many people forgot my birthday this year and its okay, i shouldn’t be a diva about it but the Birthday Blues have me in a chokehold. Listened to landslide on loop, cried a lot, almost everything went awry, and i started feeling sick and now have a cold. The cherry on top is my brother telling me my aging is showing. Too many worms for the bird in my brain to catch. I think last year i was too shell shocked to process my birthday and i had grandiose expectations for this one, but it was more of a release of sorts with undefined energy around it. Also i’m luteal which should be against the laws of nature for a birthday girl. Just getting a lil older and that’s okay!!

Anyway, cheers to the last even/pretty number of my twenties ~ 28

فَيَكُونُ طَيْرًا بِإِذْنِ اللَّه

cezanne, mont sainte-victoire and the viaduct of the arc river valley

things i saw in those days: a print i found at the thrift. the moon growing more gravid each night. my second grade teacher at the chinese grocery store. a robbin in the mud. a plume of smoke. three deliveries and one loss. two second degrees that came together as i stitched. a near hemorrhage. swimming membranes. the honey glint of your eyes. one modified ritgen, and the new wool vest: grey and patterned brown at the seams. flashes of memory: my grandfather, young and capable, master of his domain. my grandfather, old and withering, silent between walls. a slow stream of birds above the hospital. my mother’s face. the deep red blossoming of oil over peppers, and the film between two layers of onion. two small teeth. milk and honey. blood on schoolbags, and the ghosts of schoolgirls, and the graves of schoolgirls. the quiet ache of a forgetful heart. the great setting sun. the absence (just for one golden second, maybe, or less) of fear.

1:00 am EST