
This lovely man wrote me this long form response to a Craig’s List personal I created; it was entitled “Looking for a Reader” 22
His response was a bit much and overwhelming. I was doing this two fold, one looking for book recommendations, and also hooking up.
“a burgess is first named anthony and he penned a clockwork orange prior to
the big screen possessing it….due to some arse face at the american
publishing company for the book, the movie is based off the first edition
books which were missing the 21st or final chapter which changes the
meaning of it all….simply because he felt it would not sell due to the
masses not thinking life would change by itself to what it was supposed to
be….c'est la vie…..though you might enjoy the complete enderby which
was also penned by burgess and is all about his alternate
personality….or you could read some jurt vonnegut jr. and meet his alter
ego named kilgore trout….mmmmm….breakfast of champions….as for pics
and what not…i recall you metioned myspace….i perchance to have that
with pics of me whilest
unemployed…..www.myspace.com/mauzdeadalive…..i also keep up with
posting on a blog on there as well….though you could also read my word
and check out my bukowski icon at
www.spiritoi81.livejournal.com……ramble rant and rave….viddy well
malenky devotchka”
Live Journal Kids, it was the precursor to whatever this is. (Tumblr) I think its an interesting transition from myspace, to facebook, to livejournal to tumblr to ???? I don’t know what we are doing anymore.

I was and am extremely self conscious about how I look. I hated wearing glasses, I looked in 2006 almost 10 years younger than actually 22. I would get 15/16/17 a lot, ok not 10 years but they would still bring out the children’s menu. I wore t-shirts, jeans and sneakers. I didn’t and don’t wear make-up. I have called myself a plain Jane many times. This was a response to my personal ad “Help Me Forget”
Him :
Help you forget? Well, there are lots of ways to do that but they involve all sorts of substances. Not gonna help that way, sorry. I DO have a great ear and I have a genuine desire to help people. Are you a gamer? Sunday is Xbox day at my house. Beer and pizza, good friends and a lot of shit talking! Do you hike? I love hiking and take people with me as often as I can. Just need a place to hang out and relax? That’s my house for my friends, why not one more?
I’m 32, got a 24 year old tenant/friend and 2 cats. I drive fast, listen to music loud. I listen to everything from Enya to Nine Inch Nails. Somewhere in the middle of all of that is hip-hop and r&b… go figure. Anyway, your post seems really sad and I HATE sadness… It hurts. Every time I hear about or see someone in pain, I have to do something to bring a smile to their face. That moment makes a difference! So, pick my brain. Give me an email back if you want to hang out some time and just do something different.
Cheer up chica,
David
Me :

Honestly if I saw that face, and I was 32 I would run in the opposite direction. I don’t even look 20. But there I was in all my nerdy glory.
Ah, tú no sabes lo que duele
Imaginarme ese día de diciembre
Dónde vas a entregar tu vida a alguien, alguien que no soy yo
Dónde vas a depositar tu futuro
Tus días y noches
Alguien a quien llamarás tu esposa
Desde ese día en adelante
Y yo, me imagino lo triste que será ese día
No sé si es mejor si no fui invitada, porque no veré de primera mano como te enlazas con alguien más
No sé si es mejor ser odiada por ella y así estar en cualquier otro evento que me distraiga el corazón
No sé si ya no estar.
Lo cierto es que no sé qué quieres de mí? Que esté ahí para ti? Que después de ese día, esa boda, esa fiesta, llegues a casa y me escribas por tumblr de que todo está bien, de que todavía me amas… ?
Quieres que me conforme con que tu corazón es mío pero tu apellido ahora está acompañando otro nombre?
Es egoísta para mí.
Duele horrible pensar en ese día que falta.
A veces cuando me siento triste leo lo que me has escrito
Pero hoy leí algo que me dolió leer, en el texto de Halloween…
Que ibas a luchar por hacernos realidad.
No soy merecedora de una lucha.
Me quedo reducida a ser tu amante?
Realmente significo tan poco para ti que prefieres hacerme pasar por este dolor con tal de no perderme?
Estos días el dolor me ha inundado tanto el corazón que quizás si preferiría morir.
Y sé que no es el plan, sé que la vida es más que esta tristeza.
Pero eso no quita este dolor que me consume
Me está haciendo odiar
Me está haciendo entrar en círculos viciosos de amar lo que no puedo tener
De mentir… al que si me escogió.
Alejandro. No sabes todo lo que te amo. Todo lo que había soñado. Todo lo que duele tu boda. Toda la vida que nos imaginamos, a la basura. Y ese bebé bonito ya no va a existir, ya no más cachetes Guerra.
Me duele no tener tu mirada, tu cuerpo. Me duele haber pausado el querer disfrutarte, el querer descubrir cada forma de placer contigo.
Duele no poder ser la musa de tus canciones.
No ser la foto que muestras cuando te preguntan por tu novia (futura esposa)
……..
El amor no tiene que doler así.
Me tengo que saber ir.
Oh Dream Corp LLC, maybe in another universe, you got more seasons and could actually be legally streamed…
My history with this song:
I’m in the master thesis death vortex but I filmed a music video for this as a gift to my best friend for his 22nd birthday and also it delights me to no end that the rerecording came out just in time because I was still 22 then :) Oh and I was delighted at my first Eras show to discover Taylor does the same as me of counting “happy, free, confused, and lonely” on her hand ♥️
Thoughts:
“22” is a classic Track 6, with its underdog-but-upbeat attitude. It’s my least favourite of the Max Martin Red tracks, but I do like it.
The main theme it falls into is growing up (see: the title) and moving on (“make fun of our exes” & “fall in love with strangers”).
Memory is also brought up in this context: “Tonight’s the night when we forget about the heartbreaks / It’s time.” That could be seen as a more throwaway memory reference, but I would argue this song directly following “All Too Well” lends that line a lot of weight. The fact that “feeling 22” is decidedly not Taylor being her old self again, even if she seems happier, also feels especially heavy, given the tracklisting.
There is also a smidgeon of the conflict-seeking side of the value of passion theme, as seen in “Treacherous”: “You look like bad news / I gotta have you”
Favourite lyric: I hope “Who’s Taylor Swift anyway? Ew.” counts lmao
Favourite melodic line: I love the “I gotta have YOU-U” jump.
Favourite production element: I actually love the vibe of the post-bridge breakdown. That highly filtered sound that revamps.
2026.2.22 🌰 Around the foot of Mt. Fuji






























2026.2.22 🌰 富士山麓周辺(山中湖〜道の駅 富士吉田〜河口湖〜まかいの牧場〜道の駅 朝霧高原)