The Funny Nerd

embraced by mama’s serpentine neck…

In the meantime I discovered that yesterday, in Rome, this happened

1 the do it every year

2 if you’ve ever seen that gif that starts with the whole planet earth and then zooms in to italy, to rome, to largo di torre argentina, to a cat’s ass, then you know where this takes place, because it’s the same spot and yes, that’s where Caesar was killed

(Smugly after failing at a task) and they said it could be done.

haha yeah my wife’s got some hangups about it so she gave me a special gift so she wouldnt worry :)

ALT

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I’m pressed

She glows now, just so you know, and she’s full of string deliciöusee string

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

Good news! Whäle shark lämp 🥰

stolen off instagram but i laughed so hard when i saw this

2026 was 8 years ago. christ

Wait. Fuck. Wrong year. Don’t

My kids are still quite young (under school age), and I’ve been careful to try to make sure they only have kind role models. This has resulted in typical mean language being absent from their vocabulary, such as “you’re stupid/ugly/I hate you”, but they’ve started inventing their own ways to be mean lol, such as “you’re not my brother anymore, you’re a stranger to me now”, and hearing that out of a toddler’s mouth is so cutting lol

Julius Ceasar has been dead for 2064 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2065 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2066 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2067 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2068 slutty, slutty years

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2069 (nice) slutty, slutty years

my brain has subconciously decided that tiktok is “unhealthy” but tumblr is “healthy” which i dont think is entirely true but i kind of like the idea.

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit

what did dads even do before wd-40

happy 1 year anniversary to this post

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

i think the quality of a drawfee episode is directly correlated to how much the hosts think it sucks while recording. by which i mean the more they say “this is for no one” i know this one is for me

i think black cosplayers should get to kill one twitter user of their choice per day

Bro I just nearly fucking died

My throats fucked but I like inhaled toothpaste and my throat seized up and I couldn’t breathe worst part is I spat toothpaste everywhere trying to get it out of my mouth and my throat is like fuzzy now?? Water did not help honey tea might

Dude I was dry heaving into a sink barely breathing and my brain went “this is gonna make a sick ass tumblr story”

ALT

is this accurate

Absolutely flawless how did you get these photos?

nobody:

tumblr when Ides of March:

I hate that “chat” now makes people think of chatgpt. no. I’m asking my imaginary greek chorus twitch audience.

Since the Academy Awards and the Ides of March are on the same day this year, I think the Academy should give this queen an honorary Oscar for this iconic performance.

after i saw the shrek post i went to the swarovski website to see if they had anything else insane and i laughed so hard at this swarovski crystal minecraft pig that i feel sick

Reblog if you are a human rights extremist who believes that all humans are equal and has no sense of loyalty to nation states.

You’ve been hit by 🔪

You’ve been struck by🔪

A mad senator! 🔪

I told my friend I wanted to get back with my ex a couple years ago and she told me “like a dog to it’s own vomit 😔” and theres still a patch in my scalp