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full offense but none of you would have ever survived fanfiction.net in 2009

remember when writers had to be all like:
“omg omg lemon starts HERE”

y’all are lucky that ao3 has tags and filters you can set

Sometimes shit was marked “lemon” and it’d just be them making out, and sometimes they’d just start pissing on each other

No rules, no laws, you took your life into your hands opening fics

A/N: this contains SLASH, that means TWO MEN, if that makes you uncomfy, DON’T READ!

A/N: please don’t sue me, o anime overlords, I’m not making any money off of this! I’m just a broke student! I don’t have any money!

A/N: I totally wrote this while high off 10 Red Bulls wheeeeeee!!!!!

A/N: COMMENT if you want me to continue the next chappy!!!

No, no, no

remember when there’d be interactions with the author and the characters?

InuYasha: I don’t get why I have to be here for this

A/N: Because it was in your contract!!1!1 *revs chainsaw*

god those were lawless times. 

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

So this is apparently inaccurate.

https://steady.page/en/naturematchcuts/posts/28951404-a41f-4215-ab89-bc35dbc41233

-> Let’s have a fact check:

Misinformation:

The left side shows an red ouchie on the soft part (the fallopian tube, the mucous gland?) and cement-like cracks of the foot. The warning: if you grab snails by the shell, you won’t crack the shell but cause “internal collapse” or tear their mantle.

Facts:

• The mantle is more inside the shell, snails don’t walk on their mantle. And they don’t break their foot.
• Walking snails don’t produce a vacuum, they are no suction pads.
• If you take a snail quickly and with sensible fingers, it will automatically detach from the floor and move naturally. The bigger danger is that a human’s grip is too strong and breaks the shell. Touch the soft part out of the shell shortly and they will retract very quickly!
• The organs of a snail (Wikipedia illu, mostly inside the shell) and their mantle are only hurt by raw violence destroying the shell, e.g., bird attacks or humans’ shoes.

Misinformation:

The right side claims: 1. Touching the shell gently will 2. cause the snail to retract very slowly. 3. Now you can take the shell. 4. You should not change the direction the snail had choosen.

Facts:

• Touch the shell gently and probably nothing will happen. Snails touch twigs or stones with their shells while walking, they take your fingers for silly wood. But their eyes can see sudden light-dark changes. Effect: they perhaps retract their eyes only. Yes, if you knock at their house, they would feel it and retract. Forget it all.
• Just take the snail quickly and gently by their shell. Or touch the foot before. Let the snail sail through the air between your fingers. Or let them walk on a leaf and take the leaf.
• If a snail retracts, they do it rather quickly. You won’t have the time for another coffee.
• Trust the snail: they will find their way and can orientate themselves. If you want to save them, moisture and green food are more important than a supposed plan that they wanted to cross your car park to the north only because snail Claude invited them to snail-cake. Whether you turn them in the right direction or not, they will first explore the area for shade and food. That’s the most important thing, not some general direction!“

Happy plagueiversary

forget your zodiac tell me what you order at a bar and at a coffee shop

Stop saying “there are plenty of fish in the sea”. I’ve got my eye on one specific, emotionally distant salmon with commitment issues

I’m personally after the white whale that took my leg

I also want the whale that took this guys leg

Not amab or afab, but a secret third thing. Hmm what could we call it

TWO FACTOR AUTHORIZATION

light thats not how the book works

MICROSOFT TEAMS

Azi e ziua când moldovenii și muntenii se ceartă pe adevărata natură a mucenicilor - dolofani și însiropați sau supă.

being forced to take a second to try and remember if ‘reblog’ or 'reblog now’ is the one where you can add tags and then still picking incorrectly

remember in p.e. when they’d take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like “today we’re going to play basketball” and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

I’m at 5 what about you?

Managed to doodle smth.

From chapter 21 of His Majesty’s Pleasure

writing is just sitting in front of a computer and making up problems for imaginary people while ignoring your own. fun and casual hobby.

Would a humble piece of art entice you to read my little fic?

Go easy on me, it’s been a while since I visited the Shiratorizawa court from His Majesty’s Pleasure.

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Haikyuu!!
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru
Characters: Oikawa Tooru, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Shirabu Kenjirou, Iwaizumi Hajime
Additional Tags: Medieval AU, royal court setting, part of the His Majesty’s Pleasure universe, Sweet, Bitter-sweet, funny at times, Non Explicit Sex, mature because of ushioi shenanigans
Summary:

A little side story that takes place sometime at the end of chapter 20 of His Majesty’s Pleasure that shows that Oikawa Tooru was not as heartless as everyone thought he was.

Ok tumblr you’ve left me no choice…i have to block this tag, I have had enough

*Here is the full list!

Today’s children don’t know what it was like when half of your photographs would turn out with demonically glowing red eyes.

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog “my dog” when it’s technically “the family dog”…….well first of all i still call my brother “my brother” and not “the family boy”. although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i’m still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

Very tenuous link to one of my favourite tweets

ALT

ushioi week day 5: fantasy 🗡️🌟

wandering knight & sorcerer apprentice ~ they got lost in the forest 😔

clavicular = the protagonist of our tale. a frail man desperately clinging to the semblance of virile strength given to him by his looks but understood by most and even by his loyal followers to be a pathetic and clownish figure

almost caught a career-ending cortisol spike = almost had an anxiety attack that could’ve ruined his career and reputation as a streamer

after a larpmaxxed stacy = after a woman just as desperately pretending to be gorgeous and confident

tried jesterfying him on stream = attempted to make him into an object of ridicule in front of his live audience as he streamed

by calling him a good boy = by calling him a good boy (this is supposed to be sexually emasculating)

while he was mid-mog = while he was in the middle of winning a contest of unbothered masculinity

between 2 low-tier normies = between himself and two other young men less concerned with projecting an ill-conceived ideal of virility

at ASU = at arizona state university in fair tempe where we lay our scene

why does it take SO much energy to keep your house only sort of clean

ALT

this was written 100 years ago but it reads like a post i would make on my tumblr blog in 2026

First drawing of 2026😭

Another one with Sakusa and his kids for my Haikyuu Tudors AU trilogy, which you can find here

serious question, how bad was the tumblr outage yesterday? because i’ve seen dozens of posts at this point that make it sound like the permian–triassic extinction event and meanwhile i was just like. folding laundry.