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2 days ago

Damien Complains!

@s0urte3th

i complain, and ramble here. mostly late night thoughts and probably plenty of worries. if you know me, you dont now.

2,741 Posts

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s0urte3th 2 days ago

s0urte3th

sorry

#i dont mean to be uuseless #my mind is just. fragile. still. especially today #i havent had a meltdown. in awhile so im just #idk. trying to stabilize myself #i keep teetering between being ok and about to have a full on meltdown #i cant let a full meltdown happen #my adrenaline has been pumping for an entire hour alreadu

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s0urte3th 2 days ago

s0urte3th

this week has been very overwhelming and overstimulating

#overstimulated #so very overstimulated. the issue is the fact i also dont eant to work #i know today will be too much and im currently habing a meltdowm bc i got cat puke on me #i dont want u to make a choice bc ik ill have to go to work and just the thought sends me right back to hell #i dont want to make a choice right now. i do not know what i want #i need to calm

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s0urte3th 4 days ago

s0urte3th

#badish start to day #was talking about using the restroom and joking around about how i need to have a morning shit #and sima points at my stomach and says ‘looks like youre about to burst!’ #not offended and ik it was a joke #but. man #im embarrassed

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s0urte3th 5 days ago

s0urte3th

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s0urte3th 1 week ago

s0urte3th

guhh

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s0urte3th 1 week ago

s0urte3th

i miss my mom

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s0urte3th 2 weeks ago

s0urte3th

i know you try so hard n im sorry

#thats why im miserable whenever i fuck up #i know it hurts you and its agonizing. im sorry about it #you arent responsible for me. even though you love me. and if i ever do anything it isnt because you werent there #healing has setbacks. people relapse yet it isnt the end of the world. its a part of healing #idk #i havent done anything obviously. just dont want you blamimg yourself

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s0urte3th 2 weeks ago

s0urte3th

back hurts

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s0urte3th 2 weeks ago

s0urte3th

cant leave now that im here

#hahaha #i cant do this #like /srs i cannot do this right now #each morning the feeling gets worse. i know once i go inside itll get worse again #snd i dount i could leave for lunch. ‘mental health issues’ probably wouldnt be considered as an excuse #if im even able to admit that to a supervisor #i wanna curl up and cry

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s0urte3th 2 weeks ago

s0urte3th

#im. slightly feeling like im a danger to myself rn #i know i probably wouldnt be much safer at home but its getting to a point #idk what to do #stephanie would never let me go home and i need the money #im sorry. i know this is exhausting. i dont mean to drain every oumce #of energy youve got #m sorry

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s0urte3th 2 weeks ago

s0urte3th

ghhh

#i cant do this i cant so this i cant do this i cant do this #i can feel my anxiety building #oughhh #trying to keep my breathing under control but thr almost crying isnt helping #idk what to do

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s0urte3th 2 weeks ago

s0urte3th

the urge to cry at work has slapped me yet again

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s0urte3th 2 weeks ago

s0urte3th

me too

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

me too

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

but i still laze around all the time. i get home from work and mostly do nothing under the guise of being too tired

#i think im just. being lazy #i wish my progress was more linear. i wish i was making progress. but it really feels like life keeps slapping me in the face and telling me #to sit down and take it. my parents suggested i move back in with them. they think im incapable #my mother laughed at me over the phone when i told her how much money i had #she clearly isnt on the path to accepting who i want to be and i know my father never will #i hate to say it but its just been. fucking me up. my own self hatred and ive been in a slight state of either mania or delusion lately #i dont know #i really dont know. theres just a lot. theres so much

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

hehehe

#yippee! #mm i want you. im sad i havent been able to fuck you for awhile (no shame towards you! i promise its okay) #but i think about you. i wish i had a dick sometimes #youre so beautiful. i should remember that more often #so beautiful

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

buh

#beautiful #youre so wonderful #im so sorry if this is love bombing. i promise im #not trying to #i know maybe we havent been the best lately. we being me. but i still adore being your mutt #sometimes youre like a god to me. not really but like. idk. you’re this beautiful glow in my life #you are so good. you seem to be the definition of good. i always feel bad when i hurt you #you dont deserve it. you deserve flowers everyday and cuddles all night +2

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

hohoho

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

im in fucking section 2 again

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

im sorry you have to deal with this

#/gen #you dont deserve to go through this. im sorry for making you suffer with me #i dont. have an excuse. other than i havent been doing well. but thats hardly an excuse #im sorry im affecting you #i dont. think im gonna drink much more #i dont want to. it isnt helping me #im sorry my love

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s0urte3th 3 weeks ago

s0urte3th

guh

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

i was thinking i could wire ya the money for a new one

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

im hopefully not gonna be drunk all weekend

#i dont want to be #idk #this week has been hard. these past few weeks have been #i dont plan to be cross faded that much. i mostly wanted it so whenever i go home i can. relax #i dont know #i didnt mean to ruiin your plans im sorry

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

lot to do

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

walking around is making it harder to breathe

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

sad about work

#sad it exists #i wanna mate with my partner yet i dont have the time #id fuck you til the sun came up. just to make sure you know ur mine #and that im urs and that i love you #idk why i have the primal instinct to fuck you and hold you (might b bc ily) #i dunno #its not ur fault/gen

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

back has been hurting so bad today

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

keep having nightmaresish

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s0urte3th 1 month ago

s0urte3th

its okay! give me 10

Top Tags

#idk #idk what to do #i dont know #i dont mean to be uuseless #my mind is just. fragile. still. especially today #i havent had a meltdown. in awhile so im just #idk. trying to stabilize myself #i keep teetering between being ok and about to have a full on meltdown #i cant let a full meltdown happen #my adrenaline has been pumping for an entire hour alreadu #overstimulated #so very overstimulated. the issue is the fact i also dont eant to work #i know today will be too much and im currently habing a meltdowm bc i got cat puke on me #i dont want u to make a choice bc ik ill have to go to work and just the thought sends me right back to hell #i dont want to make a choice right now. i do not know what i want #i need to calm

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