really really really trying

my buddy says the craziest stuff when i make him plead for his life

i see myself as a sort of “good wormtongue”, feeding constructive advice and affirmations to my sickly liege

(seeing a bear in the road and forgetting what to do but remembering there’s specific things to do when you see a bear) you need to accelerate

i have received 100 ratings on goodreads. next stop: 10000000000000000

homie pardon my noticing that several of your metres are at 0%

so you eat the slime? and drink it? the slime nourishes you completely? and all you have to do is climb in the tank?

(cursed trinket shop owner voice) i’m sure you’ll find something in my shop you can’t live without…

my buddy bareknuckle bill just evolved into a more powerful form called brassknuckle bill

“the sun is a ball of superheated gas” well, that’s good to know. but it doesn’t explain everything.

if i read enough reputable secondary sources i shouldn’t have to actually watch wuthering heights before leaving it 1.5 stars on letterboxd and a review that just says “wuthering YIKES”

hendrik van loon, the home of mankind (1931)

i am committed to creating satisfying e-commerce experiences for people with whom i interact online. that is why from today i have PERMANENTLY dropped the price of YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THIS IF YOU WANT TO LIVE to $20aud and BLUE NIGHT AT THE CULT to $15aud

https://maxlavergne.square.site

I’m currently reading You Must Understand This If You Want To Live by Max Lavergne aka @reallyreallyreallytrying

you’re not making enough of stone fruit season. that’s another thing you’re fucking up. a few dozen stone fruit seasons you get your whole life. you need to take a hard look at your peach and mango consumption.

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new story up now on INFINITE GOSSIP. it’s called CHRISTOPHER’S STRONG LEGS. please click through to read the full story

waiting patiently for the big guys to be done smashing so i can dart in and scavenge a few smithereens

(trying to figure out what to serve my friend’s miniature boyfriend at a dinner party) would he want to swig an elixir of growing?

sorry that your girlfriend’s debut play elicited a decidedly mixed response from preview audiences dude

(closing the menu and handing it back to the waiter) whatever’s most sumptuous

(taking bart by the shoulder) lisa is your sister… you should advocate for her. raise her up

i have watched and reviewed “marty supreme” (2026)

contrary to what you might think the name “toadstool” came first. and then they had to come up with a creature who would sit on such a mushroom. cue the perfect frog

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macguffin world. on INFINITE GOSSIP

i have watched and reviewed 28 years later: the bone temple (2026)

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Been reading short stories by @reallyreallyreallytrying. They’ve got a kinda dream-like surreal quality that reminds me of George Saunders’ style. They’re also funny, this is the same guy who brought us spiders georg!

i’ve noticed that some people don’t seem to like touching the saw blade i replaced my missing hand with

psyching up phil collins before he goes in the booth: you’ll be fine. just say susussudio a bunch of times

(checking out a historical event) is this the tragedy or the farce

catching up with my friend mark who’s been miserable of late. cheer up mark! plenty to smile about. and open the window