No I didn't eat that guy

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oh so you broke the notes on the notes website

here at the sandwich shop, we’ve started to notice some people who are new to sandwiches aren’t used to meat and cheese between two slices of bread. they find this practice strange and confusing. that’s why we’ve decided to cut the bread out all together. from now on, we’ll just serve slices of meat and cheese on a plate.

we know that many of our loyal sandwich shop customers have been coming here for years to buy our delicious sandwiches. but some people don’t “get” sandwiches, and we need to try and appeal to them with an easier-to-understand meal format. we will no longer be serving sandwiches. all of our food will just be cold cuts on a paper plate. we love our customers and appreciate your understanding <3

Yes we know Craig’s Cold Cuts down the street does cold cuts better than we do and has millions of customers. That’s why we need to switch to cold cuts, to get their customers. We hope that our long-time sandwich loving customer base will be patient in this transition to cold cuts and welcome the certain influx of Craig’s Cold Cut customers who will surely come here to enjoy our worse cold cuts with you, our sandwich-deprived customer base, whom we value so much.

I love how this goes around again every time the tumblr staff does something fucking stupid.

Patrick Ness, More Than This

We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Tumblr. We had a barely functional site. We had everything we needed for a blog site, and it all ran like clockwork. You could’ve shut your mouth, cooked, and made as much money as you ever needed. It was perfect. But, no, you just had to blow it up. You and your porn bans and your transmisogyny! You just had to be the man. If you’d done your job, known your place, we’d all be fine right now!

my post now.

Mine now UwU

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

Me, reading this whole post:

NOW it’s you

Oh yea? Well guess what bro

Best post I’ve seen all day

House of Leaves ass post

I’m not sorry

ɐɯɐll ɐ ʇou ɯɐ I

Lmao I can read everything here without rotating it. I’m only stopped by mirrored stuff… For a while

Wait a damn second…

Take off that coat.

Im like 29% sure you are not human.

Meeeee? :3 (:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3) nooo how could you say that

YOU however… 👁️👁️ (👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️) you’re suspiciously llama shaped

get a room

no notes post bad job everyone

what do you mean no notes post??? this post is normal

I don’t see any

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

Me, reading this whole post:

NOW it’s you

Oh yea? Well guess what bro

Best post I’ve seen all day

House of Leaves ass post

I’m not sorry

ɐɯɐll ɐ ʇou ɯɐ I

Lmao I can read everything here without rotating it. I’m only stopped by mirrored stuff… For a while

Wait a damn second…

Take off that coat.

Im like 29% sure you are not human.

Meeeee? :3 (:3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 :3) nooo how could you say that

YOU however… 👁️👁️ (👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️) you’re suspiciously llama shaped

get a room

no notes post bad job everyone

a core part of being on tumblr is watching the site kick itself in the dick

The story of Cats is that in the 1930s, the famous poet T.S. Eliot wrote a book of cutesy little cat-themed poems for his godchildren

And then 40 years later, Andrew Lloyd Webber found a lost cat poem that T.S. Eliot had cut from the cat book for being too sad for children, and ALW was like “woahhh. A cat….that’s sad. That’s deep, man. I wanna make a musical out of this”

So the producer assigned to the project was like “okay, I guess you could maybe read these cat poems as a satire of 1930s British society? We could probably do something sort of interesting with that, I’m thinking a cast of about 5 and–”

And ALW was like “no. Forget the satire. Also I want a cast of dozens and the most advanced special effects technology ever seen on stage. I’ve taken out a second mortgage on my house to fund this”

And the producer was like “wh– you– wh– do you even have. a plot”

So ALW got a bunch of actors and writers and artists together and they holed up and did cocaine workshopped for 5 weeks, and at the end of it they emerged and said “the plot is that a bunch of cats are having a dance contest for the right to take a ufo to cat heaven :)”

and then it made 2 billion dollars.

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,

As of some one gently flapping, flapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some fairy,” I muttered, “slapping at my chamber door—

            Only this and nothing more.”

Quoth the walrus, “Are you sure?”

had to draw it

QUOTH THE WALRUS

I love Matilda because it’s a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren’t fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn’t fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

do you ever want to gently float up to someone and whisper “this isn’t a debate; i am actually educated on the subject and i’m telling you you’re wrong”

Yes and I would also like to gently float in general.

this is the most positive addition that has ever been made on my post

youraislopbores.me interraction that made me cry lmao.

The intention behind the message was that according to Google Emily was the name most common for the type of person who I’m guessing would use the website, so I was trying to freak someone out by knowing their name (very slim chance but hey).

I guess it worked?????

maybe atrtemis would get his fowl.

10/10, no notes.

its 2026 theres gotta be a mask that doesnt fog up ur glasses

idk maybe we should ask the magic mask man

…

he said no

posting ocs is scary like what if everyone kills me

posting ocs is scary like what if everyone kills me

Cronch

nut loaf

Bitch i thought that was rocks!

thats not bread that’s a core sample from a beach

That’s conk creat babey!!!!!!!!!!

they built the Great Wall with that

This was thrown at Stonewall

Cain killed his brother with this

Dwarf bread, just like mama used to mine.

I agree ☝🏼 100% dwarf bread!

Bread built like a gravel road.

Ey jimmi! Get me a seed with nothin

Fossilized bread from the Cretaceous.

This is for birds

god they forgot the m&ms in my trail mix

you need to dedicate your life to things that are obscure and unimportant. and bad. and wholly uninteresting. and worth nothing of value. so you can drive everyone insane forever. and you can’t kill yourself. i ❤️ abysmal dogshit

“reports of my death were greatly exaggerated”

• “reports of my death were actually quite accurate, with some artistic freedom.”
• “reports of my death were greatly underestimating the amount of effort it takes to come back to life.”
• “reports of my death never include the fucker who killed me.”
• “reports of my death are focusing way too much on the dying part. do you know how exhausting it is to come back to life?”
• “there are reports of my death?”

youtube is so funny because people will deadass censor “knife” but never add any real trigger warnings to actual stuff that needs a warning 😭 like what

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Trump has made it OK to kill trans people or people who ‘look trans’. He is insane and beyond evil and should not be the president of such a big country at all. Oomfs who live in America including @samhasurcat @misty-or-cat61117 please stay safe, I’m genuinely worried for your safety

GUYS THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE EXTERMINATION ORDER!!!!

If you don’t know what I mean, you’re getting a history lesson.

The Extermination Order was a state executive order issued by Governor Liburn Boggs in October 27, 1838. Known officially as Missouri Executive Order 44, it gave Missourians permission to drive out the so-called “Mormons” from MIssouri, or kill them. As a result, the Latter-Day Saints fled to Illinois, drained a swamp, and established the city of Nauvoo.

The Extermination Order was formally overturned in 1976 by Governor Kit Bond, citing its unconstitutional nature (abridging freedom of religion).

THIS IS DEATH THREATS TARGETING A SPECIFIC DEMOGRAPHIC!! WE CANNOT ALLOW ANGRY, HYPER-CONSERVATIVE PROTESTANTS TO TARGET A MINORITY AGAIN!

Jesus fucking Christ, man-

Idgaf what his reasoning is; they’re still people!! We cannot be genociding people based on one singular trait! Like I hate MAGA and everything they stand for but I’m not just gonna go out and kill someone because they chose to wear a MAGA shirt that day. Istg it’s like his moral compass is defective beyond repair

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