nobody:

tumblr when Ides of March:

i’m baking knife cookies btw <3 🔪

wasnt kidding about the knife cookies btw

I’m doing my part!!

ALT

I feel like it really adds something to know that this coffee shop was right next to the state capitol building. There is a non-zero chance one of these lattes ended up in the senate chamber.

ALT

Congratulations, you’ve unlocked the secret nerd bonus! I actually ended up texting a friend who specializes in the early Roman empire for advice on designing this special.

Honey and almond are pretty self-explanatory, as honey and nuts both figured heavily in Roman desserts. Cinnamon, meanwhile, means dead rich guy. It was insanely expensive to obtain, and the wealthiest of Romans used it to scent funeral pyres, so that the smell of burning cinnamon would cover the scent of cremation.

sending this to my barista fiance who’s sending it to the guy who makes the decisions abt drinks

i’m scheduling this so I can make it for the ides <3

my dad just asked me what im listening to while baking and i dont know how to explain why im listening to a song called “sad girl sex”

one day i will free myself from this mortal flesh prison its rly getting on my nerves

since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for “mage”

some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don’t care if it sounds a little silly. people thought “missus” sounded crass at first. call me mg.

benefits of mg:

• easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like “mayd” or “maygh”)
• ONE SYLLABLE!!! (“individual” is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually
• ends in a soft vowel sound, so it’ll flow right into the next word (“ind” halts the whole sentence)
• fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter
• distinct enough that it can’t be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I’ll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)
• wizard.

drawbacks:

• there aren’t any
• yes, i know about milligrams and magnesium. i don’t give a shit. ms can also mean microsoft. who cares.

I had to find this from somewhere and reblog it again because I work at a high school summer camp and told the kids to call me Mg. Day during our first day programming today.

They went NUTS for it! Not only did they love it, but there was an immediate click in understanding about they/them pronouns *from the entire cohort* that I haven’t experienced in 3 years of programming.

And linking it back to the root words Mister and Missus as OP so wonderfully provided helped establish that using they/them or neopronouns isn’t just playing around or “Miss but different” the way it can be with Mx. I used to try to go by Teacher Day because I was still getting she/her’d all the time but that also came with the problems of the students only being able to see me in the role of Teacher and being intimidated by the educational institution and their grades (I don’t even work for the school I’m external staff I don’t even have WiFi access). And I’d still get she/her’d all the time.

As soon as I introduced Magister they saw that a nonbinary person could be an Adult with a *societal* role outside the binary. It was immediately visible in their ecstatic faces. And I didn’t get misgendered today.

The only downside is I’m gonna have to practice my card tricks because I did promise I could do magic!

im dressed like someone’s dad right now i think

had to add a disclaimer to my chem project that says I don’t have the exact process for 1/3 of my project because it’s ✨️patented✨️ and there are literally no resources explaining how it works yippee

update that part went fine but my model FUCKING DIDNT WORK. SCREAMS

Was your model not poring water in water and calling it chemicals?

yes but it still somehow went wrong

this man is so fucking pathetic oh my god.

just saw a car with a hawaii license plate??? how did they get here

im gonna cry they made extra of the food at this cafe so they gave me one-

doing a drawing based on an old drawing and… like

you wouldn’t see it at first glance but damn i SUCKED at proportions back then

had to add a disclaimer to my chem project that says I don’t have the exact process for 1/3 of my project because it’s ✨️patented✨️ and there are literally no resources explaining how it works yippee

update that part went fine but my model FUCKING DIDNT WORK. SCREAMS

“i’m going to work on my 5 missing assignments at lunch today” [does nothing for a full hour]

had to add a disclaimer to my chem project that says I don’t have the exact process for 1/3 of my project because it’s ✨️patented✨️ and there are literally no resources explaining how it works yippee

either the Bluetooth speakers at this cafe are open or this is someone’s headphones. either way I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever (i won’t, but… what if)

i’m baking knife cookies btw <3 🔪

ive had ts on loop for 3 days now im GOING insane

New fandom on my dash/page/thingy so now I gotta silently decipher who’s responsible over the next few weeks…

…

where twin

what my arms look like when the sun finally exists again

@gaytoasterbath

:(

its more like @probablynotwest actully

excuse me????

got my eyes checked like a year ago. they told me i had perfect vision and they immediately started getting worse after that. hmm

HWHAT TYE FUCK WHY IS IT SNWOING UT WAS 60 DEGREWS YESTERRAY

I made this post without looking at my screen and it’s still more comprehensible than half the stuff @gaytoasterbath types

Shut up :/

this is you btw

also you

also you

liars and theives

*thieves

false hood thats not how you spell it

falsehood*

few more for the collection

Fucked up that your friends are just random strangers to random strangers. Like they are seen by people who don’t know them and mean nothing to them. Just a face they barely register in a crowd.

I want to put a gold star sticker on all my friends so that people know that this one is very nice and cool.

put red pants on them like you do with miis

damn didnt intend for a random ass vent to be my 1000th post. anyway,

i feel rly bad about being a dry texter but also i literally cant do anything else. u get 1 (one) high energy text per month and then its a whole lot of Nothing ™️

i mean the last time i forced myself to have high energy texts i ended up snapping, being unable to answer any texts, and being terrified whenever i got a notification sooooooo \_( :/ )_/ (dont judge me im too lazy to go find the shrug emoticon)

editing the characters out of edited pictures so I can send the originals to my friend

tumblr wont let me post unless I add a title to this

like how a single word

can make a heart open

I might only have one match

but I can light my 3 wick candle from bath & body works