Headcanonthings

Joe: I missed you, habibi!
Nicky: I was only gone a few hours.
Joe: You were gone for three and a half hours. The first two and a half were terrible, and then I just went numb.

Charlie: Money aside, what do you need right now?
Angel: The money you just put aside.

Baby: Why are you dressed like that?
Romance: Like someone with standards?
Jinu: We’re just going grocery shopping.
Romance: Yes. And people will see me.

Todd: Are you drunk?
Dirk: No.
Todd: Good.
Dirk: I accidentally took ecstasy though.

Romance: Yeah, I looked both ways before crossing the street!
Romance: I looked both handsome and radiant!
Romance: Too bad I got hit by that car.

Bruce: That’s it, I’m cutting off the internet!
Dick: No, please don’t! I have a family to feed!
Bruce:
Bruce: What?
Dick: I need to feed my Neopets!

Hal: Hey Spooky, how many times have you broken your ribs?
Bruce: *actively counting*
Justice League Members: ???
Bruce: *still counting*
Clark: *horrified* Oh my god, is he still counting?

Tim: ugh- Hey, can I vent for a moment?
Bernard: You could tell me all your dreams, your nightmares. You could tell me every public figure you planned to murder, how you would do it, and when and where, and I would not tell a soul
Tim:
Bernard: … too much?
Tim:
Tim: No-

Abby: Do you think different paints have different tastes?
Mystery: They do.
Jinu: …Why did you say that with such certainty?

Richie: I kissed Eddie.
Ben: Wow.
Ben: I owe Bev so much money.

Lucifer: You should be addicted to shutting the fuck up!
Alastor: *hoping to piss him off* Oh you wanna kiss me SO bad it makes you look stupid~
Lucifer: And so what if I do?
Alastor: ….that wasn't—what—

Tim: So I did the math. It would take four hundred people to create a steel longsowrd.
Bruce: Huh?
Tim: You know how people talk about swords “forged from the blood of enemies”? Well I calculated it, and you would have to drain the blood of four hundred adult humans and extract the iron from their blood to have enough to make a steel longsword. Forged from the blood of your enemies.
Bruce: That’s… neat
Tim: I know right?!